How to identify your feelings
I feel crazy. I don’t know. I don’t feel anything. These are common responses when I ask someone how they feel. Most people find it difficult to verbalize their feelings, not because they struggle to identify them but mostly because they lack the vocabulary. This is where the feeling wheel comes in. This tool will help you to
label your feelings
express yourself clearly
regulate your feelings - If you know how you feel, you will have a better idea of what you need
increase your emotional intelligence - an attribute that is essential to build meaningful connections with others and flourish in the workplace.
Download the Feelings Wheel here.
Originally developed by Dr. Gloria Willcox
How to use the feeling wheel.
At the core of the wheel is six primary feelings, angry, disgusted, sad, happy, surprised, bad, fearful, angry. These primary feelings transition into secondary feelings in the two outer concentric circles. You can follow these three steps to label your feelings.
Step 1 to identify your feelings.
Start at the core.
Notice the core of the circle and identity a feeling you feel the strongest. It is normal to experience more than one, but try to pick the strongest. If you struggle to identify the feeling, go with your gut. Don't let perfectionism get the upper hand; if it does not work out, you can always go back.
Julia has a big day ahead of her. She is doing a presentation at an important business meeting. She knows her performance at this meeting will determine if she gets promoted. She worked hard for this, but does she have what it takes? Julia knows she will be more composed if she can pinpoint her feelings, so she used the feelings wheel and identified two core feelings, happiness and fear. Happy because she finally has the opportunity to showcase her skills, but she is also scared.
Step 2 to identify your feelings.
Go outward.
Once you identify one of the six core feelings, move to the second concentric circle and pick a feeling within the color range.
Julia picked fear, which has a yellow color. Moving outward to the middle circle, she noticed that she feels anxious and insecure, but mostly insecure.
Step 3 to identify your feelings.
Go to the outer circle.
After identifying a feeling in the middle circle, move outward to the outer circle and pick one of the two feelings connected to the feeling in the middle circle.
Julia noticed there are two feelings related to insecurity - inadequate and inferior. She is well prepared for the meeting but she feels inferior because her coworkers have more work experience than her; she was a stay-at-home mom for five years. Julia talked to her friend about this, who helped her realize the employer is looking for level-headedness, professionalism, and management skills - all qualities Julia already possesses.
Follow these three steps above to recognize and label your feelings. The feelings wheel is an easy-to-use tool that will increase your self-awareness and ultimately help you regulate your feelings.
Information on this website is provided for information purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for the advice provided by a mental health therapist or other healthcare professional. No information offered here should be interpreted as a diagnosis of any disorder, nor an attempt to treat or prevent or cure any disease or condition. Names, characters, places, and incidents on this website are for illustrative purposes only. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
